HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Well yay! It's 2 0 0 5...(in case u didn't notice). Which means new calendars...WHOOP! :D

Hmm the NYE party... gathering... meeting last night was... ho-hum.
Hmm I just like to meet up and chat but v. hard to have a party where there is something for everyone. Especially when everyone has diff. tastes for activities.
Think I'll leave party doing for others now... because they're getting quite repetitive... :S
OMG so much mess hahahaha more than my birthday party which had like more than twice the number of people! Damn Miss Christmas shedded everywhere lol. So had to spend about an hour this morning picking everything up.
Me and Cat got through Love Actually, Brother Bear and Down Wit Love last night/this morn. And also some reality show called 'Scream Test' on TV which is quite a silly show.
I've counted... and I own... FIFTEEN chick flicks (DVD, video, files, VCD lol) And I still don't have Notting Hill! Argh!
After Cat left... I cleaned up then went to bed haha till about 2 and mum made me go to our rent house to help put up new blinds. I feel sorry for my parents because they were trying to follow the instruction paper on how to put them up but couldn't do it and it was really easy :S After telling them how to put up the blinds I sat in a dark corner on the floor and rested my still sleepy eyes lol.

OK so who wants to read a *cough*good*cough* story? I finished my english folio piece... it's writing from a diff. perspective and I don't know why... my stories always sound soooo corny. Here it is :P laterz!

Seeing Isn't Believing

“Hello? Honey? Are you there?”
Mark was due back from his conference three days ago. It was now Christmas Eve. I was seething.
“Where are you?” I asked calmly. I heard a distant siren on the other end of the line.
“I’m…still at the office. I’m over my head in paperwork…” Was he waiting for sympathy? I heard a scream over my head, followed by, “Give me that! That’s mine! I’m going to tell Mummy!” I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Look,”
“Look? Look at what Mark?” I was losing it. I don’t think I’ve ever been so mad, but this was the second Christmas this has happened. You know how important my job is. People need me here. This is for us. I just can’t find the time. I’m over my head in paperwork. One excuse after another.
“The thing is, I really don’t think I can make it home tonight.”
Right. That was a surprise.

Mark Matthew Timmons was the man I married four years ago and since the accident three and a half years ago, things have never been the same between us. I had to learn, am still learning to adapt to my new, terrifying, world and well, he had to learn to adapt to me. And neither of us have succeeded.

Someone came bounding down the stairs. He grabbed me by the hand and put it up to his face. Michael, my youngest had been crying.
“Mark, just hang on.” I put him on hold and took a deep breath. It was always so difficult this time of year. Mark was away a lot and the two boys were always a handful all through the year. The Christmas shopping, the rehabilitation program, the visitors. The tune to ‘Jingle Bells’ rang though the house and interrupted my thoughts. More visitors. Just what I needed. I sat Michael up on the kitchen bench next to the phone. I handed him the receiver and turned off the hold. “Have a chat with Daddy while Mummy gets the door, okay Honey?”
I got to the door, not before running into the staircase banister. Clutching my side, I opened the door to a blistering cold and a faint scent of aftershave. The tantalising aroma reminded me of someone…but I knew it wasn’t possible, I could still her him chatting to his son in the background.
“Good afternoon, ma’am.” Oh no. A salesman. “The good people at Slimline Designs would like to wish you a Merry Christmas by giving you this great opportunity to purchase two Slimline reading glasses for the price of one and…”
“Sorry,” I interrupted. I looked straight ahead. “In case you didn’t notice, I don’t think your ‘great opportunity’ applies to me.”
He gave a nervous chuckle and shuffled his feet. I put on a mock smile, “Good day sir and Merry Christmas to you.” I closed the door.
“Michael, is Daddy still on the phone?”
“No. He said he’ll call you back in 10 minutes.”
“You should have told me you wanted some toast, Honey. Then you wouldn’t have had burnt toast!”
“Aww, sorry Mumsy. I wanted to be undependent!”
He carried his plate to the sink and handed it to me. Something brushed pass my ankle and lept up onto the kitchen table, knocking over the salt and pepper. The sudden shock sent the plate in my hands crashing to the floor.
“Michael, get that cat out!” I yelled. Michael scrambled to remove the feline and I heard Sam running down the stairs.
“Mum? Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah Sam, I’m fine. Can you please help me clear this up?”
“Mummy! Sam stuck his tongue out at me!”
“Sam…don’t start. You want to be the mature one don’t you?”
“Oh Mum! I’m only seven!” countered Sam.
I sat down at the kitchen table and ran my hands across the table top. Once I found the two misplaced containers I stood them up and left for the confinement of my bedroom.

I heard the backdoor swing open and shut and then the clang of the trashcan outside. I don’t know how I would get by without Sam and Michael. They could be the toughest challenge at times and the sweetest angels at others.

Both were at their Nanna’s when the crash happened. God forbid if Nanna managed to convince us to take them to dinner with Mark and I. One person died that night, the jaywalker, by an oncoming car. Mark managed to swerve to avoid collision, but in doing so, crashed into a building. Everything was vivid in my memory until that point. And memory is what I count on now. For months I cried myself to sleep at the thought of forgetting what my sons, Mark, what the world looked like.

The phone was ringing. I must have dozed off with my thoughts. I let it ring out.
“Hi! You’ve reached the Timmons. No way we can get to the phone right now. Please leave a message and your name and we’ll get riiight back to you!”
“Hey, are you there? I’m sorry, it’s not like I don’t want to be there. I’m sorry that I’m not around more often. It’ll all be okay. You know I still love you…and the boys…”
I grabbed the receiver. “Then why don’t you come home? It’s Christmas for heaven’s sake, Mark.” Silence. I knew he couldn’t come home. I was being selfish. He was working for us, to keep us on top of the never ending bills and debts. Mark was used to my nagging though and never gave it much thought. However, my nagging and mood swings have become more frequent lately; resulting in bicker, arguments and rows. I’ve lashed out at Mark and the boys when I shouldn’t have…how could he still say he loves me? I couldn’t even bring myself to think he even liked me let alone love. I hated myself for being so cruel and any attempt I made of asking him to come home to be with his family came out wrong.
“What are you thinking?” He asked.
Before I could answer a sob escaped my lips.
“Hey, pretty lady, don’t cry.” I laughed at his mock Southern drawl. “I got you a present.”
I couldn’t help it, “You know what I want for Christmas…for you to be home, for us to be a family.” I sighed and regretted my words.
“It’s under the tree.”
“Well now I’m sure it can’t be you. I would’ve bumped into it long ago.” In my head, I saw him smile. Something I have always hoped I would never forget.
I walked to the living room and knelt down beside the tree. I waved my hands underneath the tree branches then hesitated.
“It’s in a furry box.”
I shifted about a bit more and my hand came to a flat box right at the base of the trunk. It was light and about the size of a small book. I opened it and took out its contents. A sheet of paper.
I had stubbornly refused to learn Braille, hanging onto the hope of regaining what I once had but I could tell by running my hand over the thick paper that it wasn’t Braille. It was typed and set out in a formal letter manner. Address…date…content…signature.
I was livid.
“Mark. What do you think this is? Have you gone completely mad? I don’t know what this is. And you know what, I’ll never know because I can’t…”
The phone went dead. He hung up! The nerve of that man!
“Mark! Mark!” I screamed as if it would bring him back to the phone.
‘Jingle Bells’.

I opened the door and that familiar faint scent hit me again.
“Look here, mate! I don’t know if you think this is funny or not but IT’S NOT! Okay! Now take your skinny goggles or whatever elsewhere!”
I was just about to slam the door in the salesman’s face when I felt him snatch the letter out of my hand and pull me into his embrace. I froze. What was happening? It was Mark. He rested his forehead against mine. “I, Walt Johnson, accept the resignation of Mark Vincent Timmons under the circumstances of disinterest and increasing lack of motivation. We wish Mr. Timmons and his family all the best for the future, it was a pleasure having him on our team. Kindest regards, Walt Johnson. CEO.”
“You quit?” I asked stupidly, not knowing what else to say.
“Yeah I guess so.”
I was overcome with mixed feelings. Overwhelming joy, butterflies of being loved again and…guilt.
“Wait. You can’t quit. We have two boys…”
“I’m well aware.”
“…you’re unemployed, electricity and gas bill reminder notices…” I felt dizzy. “…and…and…I’m like this. It can’t work, Mark.”
He let me go with a push. He gave a frustrated sigh and started to pace back and forth quickly and roughly.
“Hey! You know what? I don’t know what to do anymore. Tell me, tell me what you want me to do!”
I didn’t know what to say. I feared the worse. Whatever that I say, he will leave me. He stood still in front of me for what seemed like an eternity. His warm breath on my face. I couldn’t see his expression and it was killing me. I reached up to touch him and as soon as my palm rested upon the side of his face he turned around and walked out of the door. The door slammed in my face bringing with it a gush of cold air.
My palm was moist with tears.

I cried and cried until I heard the phone ring.
“Hi! You’ve reached the Timmons. No way we can get to the phone right now. Please leave a message and your name and we’ll get riiight back to you!”
“Hey, I know you’re listening, Honey. Please pick up.” I turned on the speakerphone and lay down on the lounge.
“Hello? Okay, I guess you’re not in the most talkative mood. I said ‘hi’ to the boys when I…went out just before. I…we should take them to the baseball game next week. I know that’s what you want. I’m sorry. I’ve been the one who couldn’t see.” Silence. “I’m going to get some take-away and I’m coming home, okay? I’ll bring you a kebab or something, yeah?” Silence. “We’re going to make this work.”
“But I want a salad.”
“Darling..”
“I’m watching what I eat.”
I saw a smile spread across his face and I smiled with him.